The Magic & Bedroom Club
by Laura Scofield
Summary: Tayend reveals to Dannyl that he's started up the "Magic and Bedroom" club at the Guild. Written for a challenge, how else would I come up with these ideas? XD


_Written for the BMT "Magic & Bedroom" Challenge.  
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_I was inspired to write this after reading Jaycest's fic, _Magic and Bedroom Secrets_. I highly recommend reading it XD Plus it links in a little with my own story! _

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><p><strong>The Magic and Bedroom Club<strong>

_(Set with Dannyl & Tayend staying at the Guild)_

"He blew up my book!" Tayend exclaimed ferociously, as he stormed into Dannyl's rooms.

The magician closed the door behind the scholar, and tried not to grin at his lover's dramatic behaviour. Keeping his face sober, he asked curiously, "Who blew up your book?"

Tayend spun forcefully around to face Dannyl. His expression was of absolute outrage as he shrieked, "That bloody excuse for a High Lord, that's who! He thinks he's so high and mighty, just because the Guild magicians were foolish enough to elect him for High Lord, when he clearly wasn't right for the job! All you have to do is take one look at that smug twisted smile to know he's not to be trusted!"

"I think some of the female magicians would disagree with you there," Dannyl replied mildly.

Tayend scowled, and retorted irritably, "I don't see what's so great about him. That excessively manly performance he puts on all the time makes me want to strangle him! Or dye all his robes pink, that'd be fun too," Tayend chuckled, momentarily forgetting his anger.

"Why did he destroy your book anyway?" Dannyl queried, preparing himself for Tayend's wrath to resurface.

The magician wasn't disappointed. The Elyne's face darkened yet again with fury, and he announced viciously, "He's just jealous because _I'm_ more creatively accomplished than he is! He's so ungrateful; all I was trying to do was give Sonea some ideas!"

"What sort of ideas, Tayend?" Dannyl asked in a weary tone, which concealed his eagerness to hear more.

"Well," The scholar began, obviously enthusiastic about sharing the details with Dannyl. "She and I had a little chat a few days ago. I managed to make her confide in me about her worries about her relationship with Akkarin. Obviously she could tell I was a very discreet person, and wouldn't breathe a word of her concerns to anyone else." Tayend beamed smugly.

"Except me," Dannyl pointed out. "But go on."

"I let her borrow my book, and pointed out the best activities that she should try out! She was incredibly grateful."

"Hold on," Dannyl protested. "You gave her our _Magic & Bedroom Secrets _book? What must she think of us know?"

Tayend waved his hand dismissively. "Its fine, she loved hearing how delightful we found the suggestions in the book. And I made sure to point out all our favourite activities, and advised her to sample them with Akkarin. After they completed the basics, of course," He chuckled.

Dannyl was startled into silence. The thought of Sonea knowing the intimate details of his and Tayend's relationship was dreadfully embarrassing, yet he knew she would keep quiet about it. At least he hoped so. The last thing Dannyl needed was for the entire Guild to know about what he and his "assistant" got up to in the bedroom.

"Are you alright, Dannyl dear? You've got that peculiar look on your face; the one you get whenever you are about to scold me for doing something wrong." Tayend shot him a mischievous wink.

"Just don't go blabbing the details of our private lives to everyone, or else we'll be chased out of the Guild, and our reputations ruined forever. Remember how you used to say you'd hate to be a sailor? Well, if the truth got out about us, we may be forced to spend the _rest of our lives_ onboard Jano's ship. It'd be the only safe place left for us to hide."

Tayend's eyes widened with horror. He contemplated spending every day feeling sea sick and getting groped by amorous sailors. He gulped, and shiftily avoided Dannyl's gaze as he said, "Ah… I may have _accidentally _told one or two others about our special relationship…"

"One or two?" Dannyl roared incredulously. "Who?"

"Nobody that we can't trust!" Tayend cleared up hastily. "Just, you know, Rothen, Osen, Lorlen, Takan, Balkan… oh and Dorrien!"

The magician suddenly wanted nothing more than to down a bottle of wine and forget what Tayend had just told him. "Is that everyone then?" He probed warily.

"Erm…" Tayend fiddled with his frilly shirt cuffs, and continued in a restrained tone, "I forgot Lord Larkin! He's very interested in _you_ actually; he keeps asking me about your bedroom preferences." The Elyne smiled merrily, and felt his confidence growing. "I've started a new club you see, where I meet with magicians, and we share our experiences and advise each other with our relationship problems. Isn't it a simply marvellous idea?"

Dannyl was speechless. How in the Allied Lands did Tayend get time to meet with all these people? He had always presumed the scholar spent his spare time in the Guild library, innocently pursuing old books and perhaps helping stressed out novices with their homework. But now he knew that Tayend preferred to get together with his new magician friends and gossip about their sex lives.

The magician shook his head despairingly. "Why am I not invited to these meetings?"

"Oh, of course you're always welcome to come along!" Tayend exclaimed gleefully, "I was just worried you wouldn't approve."

"… How much exactly do your club buddies know about… about our private life?" Dannyl enquired tentatively.

Tayend ambled over to where Dannyl was sitting, and perched on the armrest. Putting his arm comfortingly on his lover's shoulders, he admitted, "Only what they all _wanted_ to know. Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything I deemed to be too personal… I'll have to wait a few more weeks before they'll be ready to hear about _everything_ we get up to at night." Tayend grinned.

"Tayend, _honestly_!" Dannyl exclaimed incredulous. "They don't need to know _anything_ as far as I'm concerned!"

"Oh come on Dannyl!" The Elyne countered effortlessly. "Most things I share with them are relevant. How else could they be sure that the book was any good?"

"So what do you do at meetings? Evaluate different techniques from the book?" The magician asked.

"We don't perform the acts _during_ the actual meetings, if that's what you're asking, Lord Dannyl!" Tayend cried affronted. "I'm not running a brothel! We simply discuss the pros and cons of the various suggestions in the book, and share our own experiences of mixing magic with pleasure," Tayend explained with relish.

"Thanks, now I feel fully assured of your respectability," Dannyl replied sarcastically. "So… what will you do now that Akkarin has destroyed your _Magic and Bedroom Secrets_ book?"

"I've got another dozen copies hidden under the bed. Good thing I'm always prepared for everything, isn't it?" The scholar asserted proudly.

Dannyl quirked an eyebrow in amusement, and impulsively reached out to wrap his arms around Tayend, and pull him onto his lap. The Elyne squirmed in surprise, and struggled to escape his lover's grasp.

"You're not prepared for _everything_, it would seem," The magician declared smugly, using magic to restrain a giggling Tayend. "Let's try some things that will shock your little club when you share the details with them at your next meeting."

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed it, and it wasn't too crazy :P I can't remember the last time I've written anything serious to be honest! Please let me know what you think, even if its to tell me to hurry up with the Novice Parody :P)<em>


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